Thursday, September 6, 2012

When Anger Boils in Your Stepfamily ? Step Parenting with Grace

As I felt my heart begin to race, I knew I had to settle? down before I said something I shouldn?t. I said a quick prayer to calm my soul and ask for guidance.?My anger was boiling. And I wasn?t sure how to proceed with the conversation.

I was in a heated discussion with my stepson?on a decision he was making that I didn?t agree with. At 22 years old, I don?t meddle in his decisions and we rarely disagree,?but this was a financial decision that?affected me and?my husband also. So I calmly stated my opinion on the subject and he balked.

I could tell we weren?t going to come to an agreement, and I knew I needed to involve my husband. So I ended the conversation with, ?I can?t and won?t tell you what to do, but I?ve given you my opinion.? I?ended the call and sat in silence, ?stunned at how quickly I had allowed anger?to overtake me.

In her book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, Lysa Terkeurst re-enacts a difficult day at home with her kids when everything goes wrong ? including the way she handled it. She went to bed that night an emotional wreck?with nothing?to show for her?day but regret. But she allowed a different perspective to change the way she would react in the future as she deemed:

?I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control.?

An applicable quote for stepfamily life! How often do we face things that are out of our control? Do we act out of control as a result?

I knew if I stayed on the phone with my stepson, I would eventually act out of control. He and I didn?t agree on the subject and it wasn?t going to change.?I?needed to involve my husband for resolution.

When my husband came in from work, he had already heard the story.?My stepson immediately called his dad to vent after leaving our conversation. I wanted my husband?s opinion on the issue and?was prepared to humble?myself if he didn?t agree with? the position I took.?Thankfully, my husband?supported?my?opinion and helped his son understand why.

Difficult interactions occur in stepfamilies frequently, especially in the?early years?when relationships are forming. But we have a choice as to how we will react when our anger boils or our feelings are hurt.

Terkeurst goes on to say, ?Remember, feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with, but they shouldn?t dictate how I react. I have a choice.?

During my stepson?s teen years, I didn?t always see my feelings as indicators. Sometimes they were dictators that threw me into an angry tailspin.?Instead of involving my husband for resolution, I tried to do it myself with angry words or extreme consequences. But I?learned that conflict with my stepchildren was resolved more peacefully (and my anger boiled less often)when?I united with my husband and we confronted the situation together.

How about you? How do you handle it when your anger boils in your stepfamily?

Related Posts:

Six Steps for Coping with Stepfamily Storms

Coping with Stepfamily Drama

Coping with Stepfamily Drama, Part Two

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Source: http://stepparentingwithgrace.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/when-anger-boils-in-your-stepfamily/

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

NBC's 'Biggest Loser' adds teens; Michaels returns

FILE - This Jan. 6, 2012 file photo shows fitness guru Jillian Michaels in New York. "The Biggest Loser" will return in January with the weight-loss show's first young teen participants and trainer Jillian Michaels back on duty. NBC says the show's 14th season will take on a new "mission" against the national increase in childhood obesity. Young people between the ages of 13 and 17 will join teams trying to shed pounds and get fit. (AP Photo/Carlo Allegri, file)

FILE - This Jan. 6, 2012 file photo shows fitness guru Jillian Michaels in New York. "The Biggest Loser" will return in January with the weight-loss show's first young teen participants and trainer Jillian Michaels back on duty. NBC says the show's 14th season will take on a new "mission" against the national increase in childhood obesity. Young people between the ages of 13 and 17 will join teams trying to shed pounds and get fit. (AP Photo/Carlo Allegri, file)

FILE - This Jan. 6, 2012 file photo shows fitness guru Jillian Michaels in New York. "The Biggest Loser" will return in January with the weight-loss show's first young teen participants and trainer Jillian Michaels back on duty. NBC says the show's 14th season will take on a new "mission" against the national increase in childhood obesity. Young people between the ages of 13 and 17 will join teams trying to shed pounds and get fit. (AP Photo/Carlo Allegri, file)

(AP) ? "The Biggest Loser" will return in January with the weight-loss show's first young teen participants and trainer Jillian Michaels back on duty.

The show's 14th season will take on a new "mission" against the national increase in childhood obesity, NBC said Tuesday. Youths between the ages of 13 and 17 will join teams trying to shed pounds and get fit.

Unlike adults competing for a $250,000 prize, the teenagers won't be subject to elimination from the show and will not be weighed for the broadcast, NBC said.

The show's producers discussed adding teens at length and are "incredibly sensitive" to safeguarding them, Michaels said.

"It's brave, it's bold and I'm sure it's going to be controversial, and we'll do the best we can to handle it in the most positive and effective way possible," the usually tough-talking fitness expert said.

The goal is to focus on the kids' health rather than their weight, Michaels said, adding, "It's about getting them on the softball team, not into a size four."

According to the Centers for Disease Control, childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past three decades, with about 17 percent of children and adolescents ages 2 to 19 considered obese based on height and weight measurements.

The season's 18 contestants will be divided into six-member teams, each including at least one youngster.

Michaels, who took a break from "Biggest Loser" to pursue adoption of a daughter, will join trainers Bob Harper and Dolvett Quince in working with the young contestants, with medical staff and childhood obesity experts also involved.

The hard-driving trainer, who also has an infant son with her partner, says it remains to be seen whether motherhood will alter her overall approach toward adults who are "killing themselves" with bad health habits.

"I am a different person, motherhood changes your DNA. However, being a mom and doing this job are very different aspects of my life and personality," she said, adding, "I'm not going to make any promises."

"Biggest Loser" will return in early January, NBC said, but a debut date was not announced.

___

Online:

http://www.nbc.com

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/4e67281c3f754d0696fbfdee0f3f1469/Article_2012-09-04-US-TV-Biggest-Loser-Teens/id-6e9fce84d40a4f7983a9a28413965b5e

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Ellen DeGeneres Honored With Star On Hollywood Walk Of Fame

Ellen DeGeneres Honored With Star On Hollywood Walk Of Fame

Ellen DeGeneres finally got a star on the Walk of Fame! The 54-year-old talk show host was honored in today’s ceremony, with her wife Portia [...]

Ellen DeGeneres Honored With Star On Hollywood Walk Of Fame Stupid Celebrities Gossip Stupid Celebrities Gossip News

Source: http://stupidcelebrities.net/2012/09/ellen-degeneres-honored-with-star-on-hollywood-walk-of-fame/

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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Margaret Thatcher power suit sells for $39,670

LONDON (AP) ? A turquoise wool suit that Margaret Thatcher wore on the day she was confirmed as Conservative Party leader has sold at auction for 25,000 pounds ($39,670).

An anonymous bidder bought the dress suit, by British designer Mansfield, at a Christie's auction in London late Monday.

Separately, a buyer in South Korea snagged six other striking outfits on auction, all of which were worn by Thatcher in the 1970s before she became prime minister.

Those outfits included a canary yellow dress with navy trim and a matching jacket that the former leader wore to the Conservative Party Conference in 1975; a blush pink outfit Thatcher wore in a BBC show in which she was interviewed about her skin care regime; and a silver and gold cocktail ensemble.

In total, the outfits fetched a little more than 73,000 pounds ? far exceeding the initial estimates of 1,000 to 1,500 pounds for each outfit.

The sales were part of a "London" themed auction that included royal, Olympic and political memorabilia.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/thatcher-power-suit-sold-39-670-auction-134542287.html

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Business webinar to cover workforce skills and strategic planning

Sydney, Australia ? Leading Business Execution software company SuccessFactors is holding a business webinar to discuss workforce skills and strategic planning, taking place at 14.00 on Thursday 6th September.
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The webinar, titled Understand your future skills requirements with Strategic Workforce Planning, will focus on a recent business research programme SuccessFactors conducted on understanding the impact of a skills shortage.
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The results of the programme show that having the right people with the right skills within a business helps deliver a great performance; however, if the business doesn't have access to the people with the skills, then business performance levels will naturally deteriorate. Skilled workforces are aging. The huge surplus of workers created by the Baby Boomer generation is getting old and retiring, taking their skills and experience with them.
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Rapid technological development is worsening the skills shortage. Computer sciences and engineering, in particular, are susceptible, with 36% of IT companies and 28% of energy companies expecting large increases in staff over the next three years. They are not alone ? many industries face threats to their workforce capabilities.
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Without a skilled workforce, vital tasks and business processes cannot be performed efficiently, leading to capacity bottlenecks, capability issues and reduced business performance. As the workforce ages and the talent shortage worsens, companies face severe threats to their competitiveness.
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Many companies are already putting workforce planning and staff development plans into action. They know it's vital to start investing in talent management and employee development to equip themselves with the skilled workforce they need today and in the future.
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To register for the SuccessFactors' webinar, visit https://www.successfactors-connect.com/bridgingthegap/events.php.
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Furthermore, visit http://www.successfactors.com to learn more about the company's business execution software solutions.

? WebWireID160579 ?

Commercial ServicesPersonal ServicesPublishing / Information ServicesRetailWorkforce Management / Human ResourcesWebWire

Source: http://www.icanadianpress.com/2012/09/04/business-webinar-to-cover-workforce-skills-and-strategic-planning/

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Walt makes a big decision on 'Breaking Bad'

Ursula Coyote/AMC

Bryan Cranston as Walter White in "Breaking Bad."

By Jason Zabel, E! Online

Warning: Spoilers ahead!

Believe it or not, on last week's "Breaking Bad," we saw the end of grandfatherly distribution king Mike. After deciding he wanted out of the meth-making and distributing game, a series of unfortunate events, most of which resulted from pissing Walt off, saw Walt pulling the trigger on his on-again, off-again partner in crime. Can this show get any bleaker? (Probably.)

What We Learned

Getting rid of Mike's body: Well, whoever thought Mike would one day be getting the disappearing-a-body-treatment from Walt? If ever there was any question of Walt's total transformation into power-hungry badass, look no further than this episode -- the season finale of the first half of season 5. (That's right -- this season is split up into two parts, and now we have to wait months to see just how badly this whole thing goes for everyone.) Anyway, Jesse waltzes in to Walt's makeshift meth office, and it's confirmed: Walt wants nothing to do with Jesse. If you're out, you're out.

Mike gets out the hard way

Heisenberg International: Now that Mike's out of the picture, someone needs to shut up the 10 people who know too much about the multimillion dollar meth empire. But Walt and Jesse don't even know the names of the people who could destroy them. Only one person does -- Lydia. So Walt goes for coffee with the ever-jittery Lydia. She's no dummy, and she's aware that once she gives this info to Walt, there's really no reason for him to keep her around. So she makes a plan: She can help Walt distribute internationally. That's right, to the Czech Republic, where 5 percent of the population uses meth, she says. And Walt is totally down, because he has made a habit of following the big money. But how easy could it be?

And now it's time to watch a bunch of prisoners get stabbed to death: Now with names in hand, Walt goes to Todd's (the new Jesse) criminal uncle for a bit of help with murdering people. That's right -- Walt's putting out a hit on 10 men, all of whom know too much. In an incredibly gruesome but awesomely-directed scene, we see these men stabbed and beaten, lit on fire, and just generally have the blood beaten out of them. It's the type of disgusting scene "Breaking Bad" does best. But it makes you wonder: Does Walt have a chance? Just think of how convoluted this thing has become. Turns out cooking and distributing meth can get kind of messy. Who knew?

Aren't they all OMG Moments on Breaking Bad?

Can you take your kids back, Skyler?: Walt is back in the swing of things with meth making, and once again everything seems clean and tidy. So here comes Marie, who notes Skyler's new-found and oddly unexplained happiness: She wants Skyler and Walt to take their kids back. It's been 3 months, and it's time. Repair the family, she tells her. So Skyler goes home to Walt. She drives him to a storage locker, opens it, and to his surprise, he's introduced to the whole of his earnings: a massive, uncountable pile of money. "More than we could spend in ten lifetimes," says Skyler. She can't launder it, because there's too much of it. She can't even keep up. "How much is enough?" she asks. She wants her kids back.

Now Walt's out too: It's like this meth making thing isn't sustainable, or something. Walt drops by Jesse's place, and together they have a cute little reminiscing session -- remember back in the old mobile meth lab days? Things were real quaint then! -- and then Walt leaves, but not before giving Jesse bags and bags of money. Some gift. This all comes, mind you, after an ominous shot of Walt receiving a cancer scan. Who knows how that went -- we won't find out until the second half of this season. After visiting with Jesse, Walt returns home to Skyler, and delivers some big news: "I'm out," he says. I'm out." And now we just have to wait and see. Is it possible for Walt to be out? Well, not quite. Hank and Marie come over for a nice little barbecue. Hank takes a trip to the bathroom, and what does he find? A book. A book gifted to Walt by someone who goes by G.B. -- Gale Boetticher, Walt's one-time assistant back in the Fring days. And, suddenly, everything makes sense to Hank. As he sits on the toilet, it all just clicks. Life makes sense for Hank again. And Walt? Well, things aren't looking so peachy.

"Breaking Bad" and "Mad Men," Emmy faves

One-Liners?

"This is what I do--I move things across the globe, from Point A to Point B." -- Lydia

"Lydia, learn to take 'yes' for an answer." -- Walt

"We're going to make a lot of money together." -- Lydia

"Even whacking Bin Laden wasn't this complicated." -- Todd's murderous uncle

"Maybe the best way to repair the family is to...repair the family." -- Marie

"How big does this pile have to be?" -- Skyler

"I'm out. I'm out." -- Walt

Did Walt's decision shock you? Let us know what you think on Facebook!

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Source: http://theclicker.today.com/_news/2012/09/03/13634762-walt-makes-a-big-decision-in-the-bloody-mid-season-finale-of-breaking-bad?lite

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Monday, September 3, 2012

Mexico pres seeks to cement legacy in last address - News, Weather ...

By OLGA R. RODRIGUEZ
Associated Press

MEXICO CITY (AP) - As he nears the end of his six-year term, Mexican President Felipe Calderon leaves his country with a better-armored economy - and also more armored cars.

Calderon delivered his final state-of-the-nation speech on Monday, trying to cement his legacy as the president who stabilized the economy and took on the country's entrenched organized crime groups, putting Mexico on the road to rule of law.

He boasted of expanding and cleaning up the federal police, putting nearly $160 billion in international reserves and creating more than 2 million jobs, twice the number during the term of his predecessor, Vicente Fox.

"It's been our generation's job to assume the costs and risks of making urgent changes in politics and security," he said in the speech at the National Palace. "The reform has begun to bear fruit, but real results will only be seen in the future."

Still, the short-term verdict on the Calderon administration is decidedly mixed, starting with the fact that violence-weary voters in the July national elections were so weary of his tenure that they kicked his party out of the presidency and brought back the long-ruling Institutional Revolutionary Party, or PRI.

"Mexico is a long way from having strong rule of law still, and a solid economic base has not necessarily led to the kind of jobs that people hope to have," added Andrew Selee, director of the Mexico Institute, a Washington-based think tank. "It's a well-managed economy but it's not a dynamic economy. And that's the legacy."

The sale of armored vehicles in Mexico has at least doubled since Calderon took office and the homicide rate has soared, with decapitations and mass slayings so common they often no longer make the front pages of national newspapers - and with local papers often too intimidated to cover them at all.

Government statistics show 21,500 homicides in the first half of 2012, compared to about 25,000 for the entire year of 2007, Calderon's first full year in office.

No one knows if drug slayings have tapered in the last few months, as his administration claims, because the government stopped providing the official statistics a year ago. Public corruption persists and the economy for everyday Mexicans is sluggish.

Mexico's president is limited to one six-year term and Calderon's will end Dec. 1, when President-elect Enrique Pena Nieto takes office in what was once considered Calderon's worst nightmare, handing the country back to the party that was kicked out of power in 2000 after years of rule, often by coercion and corruption.

Calderon has said he learned to fight the PRI at the knee of his father, a founder of the conservative National Action Party, or PAN, and he openly criticized the rival party before the election for its history of suppressing dissent. Other members of the PAN openly accused the PRI of making pacts with drug traffickers.

Calderon's criticisms have been more muted since Pena Nieto's victory, and on Monday he congratulated the president-elect and urged all Mexicans to unite behind him.

"Above all differences, it is essential that we support him," he said.

Calderon acknowledged during the speech that mistakes have been made in his government's fight against drug trafficking and organized crime, but he said the effort helped to prevent criminals from taking control of the country.

He defended his security strategy that largely has relied on unprecedented deployment of troops across the country.

In terms of security, his report said Mexico has made its largest security investment in its history, allowing the federal police force to be purged of bad officers. He boasted of reformed laws to better coordinate security operations and noted that federal forces have captured or killed 22 of the country's 37 most-wanted drug traffickers.

Calderon praised the transformation of the federal police, which he said has grown from 6,500 officers to 37,000 during his term, including 8,600 college graduates - a reform forced by the repeated failure of similar overhauls of earlier police agencies.

The federal Public Safety Department, which oversees federal police officers, and the Attorney General's Office have vetted 100 percent of their agents with background checks, he added.

But the reputation of the federal police also has been battered. Two weeks ago, federal police ambushed a U.S. Embassy vehicle, injuring two CIA agents working with a Mexican Navy captain. The federal agents said they were investigating a kidnapping when the opened fire on the armored SUV.

In June, two federal police officers fatally shot three colleagues at Mexico City's airport. Authorities said the shooters were part of a trafficking ring that flew in cocaine from Peru. Mexico announced this month that it was replacing 348 federal police assigned to security details at the airport in an effort to quash drug trafficking through the terminal.

Last year, a businessman from Ciudad Juarez, across the border from El Paso, Texas, accused a group of 10 federal police officers of beating him, torturing him and demanding money. He was stabbed to death a day before he was to attend a judicial hearing on his accusations against the officers.

Just last week, 10 more federal police were arrested for trying to extort a businesswoman in Morelos state south of Mexico City, an incident she captured on tape.

"There have been many problems with restructuring the federal police because they haven't eradicated corruption," said Raul Benitez, an expert on security at Mexico's National Autonomous University. "The adaption of the armed forces to fighting drug trafficking has been slow and difficult, and they haven't been able to resolve the human right violations."

Local and state police departments have only vetted 45 percent of their officers through July, with evaluations pending for more than 239,000 officers, Calderon's report notes.

Thousands of officers, including entire forces at times, have been fired, detained or placed under investigation for allegedly aiding drug gangs.

Meanwhile, prosecutions of major, highly publicized crimes are still pending, including that of a casino attack a year ago in the northern city of Monterrey that killed 52 people, mostly innocent gamblers, and an attack that killed a U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agent, who was ambushed by an alleged groups of Zetas also last year.

Under Calderon, the Attorney General's Office has made high-profile arrests for drug-trafficking, public corruption and illegal arms possession, only later to release the accused for lack of evidence.

Military generals and court officials have been accused in recent months of aiding both the Sinaloa and Beltran Leyva cartels.

Calderon sharply escalated an armed offensive against drug traffickers when he took office in December 2006 and made the battle his top priority. More than 47,000 people had been killed in drug violence since then and through September 2011, the last time the government released official figures.

The government says it has weakened criminal organizations by confiscating $14.5 billion in assets, including $1 billion in cash from drug gangs.

Authorities have confiscated more than 114 metric tons of cocaine, 11,000 metric tons of marijuana and 75 metric tons of methamphetamines since 2006. Authorities also seized nearly 154,000 weapons, the report said.

Calderon's report said the economy is "in a phase of growth" thanks to responsible public finances.

He also said foreign direct investment totaled $126 billion during his administration.

"This reflects the growing dynamism and competitiveness of our economy," the report said.

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Source: http://www.klkntv.com/story/19443320/mexico-pres-seeks-to-cement-legacy-in-last-address

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